


Voices I Long to Hear

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Deaf Character, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hurt Tony Stark, Injury, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, M/M, Permanent Injury, Pining, Sign Language, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 06:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Tony was a hero, and the hero was never meant to walk out of battle with these kind of injuries. But then, Tony had never been a lucky hero.





	Voices I Long to Hear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rennix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennix/gifts).



> Sooooo, as you might have seen in two previous stories, **Rennix** gave me a prompt of _can we pls have more disfigured tony/tony wearing loki's clothes_ and I not only took the prompt, but my mind came up with three scenarios.
> 
> So we had: [disfigured Tony here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18473701) and [Tony wearing Loki's clothes here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593653).
> 
> And now, we have another "injured" Tony story, enjoy! :)

The thing about being a hero is, you tend to get hurt, you tend to get knocked down, but you always get back up and keep fighting.

Tony got an arc reactor shoved in his chest, he got pallidum poisoning, but he conquered it. He _kept going_. Because you either died tragically, or you lived to fight another day.

You didn’t get caught in a horrific explosion that your suit barely managed to protect you from.

You didn’t walk out with thick, ugly scars from your wounds.

You also didn’t walk out deaf.

But, that’s what happened. He _survived_ because Loki was there to pump magic into him, but there were some things Loki couldn’t fix. He wasn’t a trained healer and he’d been drained from the fight as well.

It meant Tony’s ear drums would never recover, and while he still had a pretty face, the rest of him? Not so much.

Tony tried not to let that cripple him, because fuck it, he was _alive_. He could handle some scars, it meant he’d lived to tell the tale. But, his hearing? That was… that was _harder_ to deal with.

When he arrived back from the hospital it wasn't to a voice but a projected, “ _Welcome home, Sir_ ”. He was glad it was Rhodey and Loki at his side because it didn’t matter if his best friends saw him cry.

Rhodey had wrapped an arm around him, rubbing soothingly. Loki had stroked his hair and together they’d made their way to the couch where Tony was pressed between them. He couldn’t hear their words of comfort (knew they weren’t stupid enough to offer them anyway). He could only feel their warm soothing touches.

It still wasn’t enough.

When he eventually cried himself to sleep, he woke up with Rhodey asleep in the bed beside him. Loki was nowhere to be found. He moved out of bed carefully, not wanting to wake Rhodey. He tried to be quiet, but he wasn’t sure what _was_ quiet anymore.

Luckily, Rhodey didn’t stir.

He went to get a coffee but froze when he saw Loki reading a book. Loki looked up, and for a split second, Tony saw pain, and _guilt_.

Tony started to speak, to say, _“It’s not-”_ but he stopped halfway through, not because he thought it was untrue, but because he couldn’t _hear_ himself speak.

It sent anguish through him, and Loki was up and out of the seat in a moment. He pulled Tony into his arms and Tony collapsed into Loki’s touch. Loki’s hands were sure and soothing on his back. Tony would have given anything to hear one of Loki’s witty remarks.

But, he couldn’t hear it.

He would _never_ hear it again. He shut his eyes against the sting of tears; he _wouldn’t_ break down again.

He would get over this, get _through_ it. 

(But how the fuck would he when the silence had always been the source of his worst demons? When he couldn’t drown anything out with music or the TV or talking to the people he cared about?)

Tony didn’t want to pull away from the comfort of Loki’s arms, but he knew he couldn’t stay here. He had to get moving. He had to _do something_.

Lifting his head, he looked up at Loki with determination. Loki seemed to understand and he didn’t say a word, instead, he brought Tony over to the bar and gestured down at the book.

Tony blinked, startled and yet, so incredibly _grateful_. It was a book on American sign language. 

He’d always thought about learning, but nothing had ever inspired him to take the final leap. He certainly had a good reason now. He took a seat on the stool while Loki went around to make him a coffee. Tony just pulled the book to him and flipped back to the beginning.

Loki had made a decent start, now it was his turn.

* * *

They were both geniuses who were determined to succeed. They were able to talk at their same speed and with accuracy within two months. They even started to develop a language all their own, because some signs just weren’t covered in a standard book.

It was almost as if nothing had changed. (Although everything had and Tony still woke up with a pained cry, only to have reality match his nightmare.)

Rhodey had needed to return back to base, but Loki was a constant presence at his side. He helped Tony with his projects, he signed with him and never once forgot that Tony couldn’t hear him.

People tended to do that, the Avengers especially (although, Clint never did, and he was the only one who knew sign language. His brother had been deaf, apparently. Tony had never known.) Pepper sometimes forgot, and she looked so guilty afterwards. He smiled at her painfully and had her write it down.

She was learning sign language, but she was busy and didn’t have as much time to devote to it.

He was getting used to seeing JARVIS’ sass rather than hearing it, but he still missed the sound of his AI’s voice. 

He missed talking to Loki the most; he missed _hearing_ him; when he arrived in a shower of magic, or when he walked through the door. 

Tony was easy to sneak up on now and although there was nothing _officially_ to stop Tony from going in the suit, he was worried about how much more vulnerable he would be if he was cut off from JARVIS. (He was also worried about what might happen if he was injured again, what _else_ could he lose?)

It often found Tony staring at his hands or the wall, lost in thoughts with no stimulus to bring him from the painful truths rolling around inside his mind.

In fact, the only thing that could was _Loki_. The mage would always appear as if summoned (likely by JARVIS) and he would touch Tony.

They touched far more than they ever had; Loki always touched him to get his attention. Sometimes, it was a soft touch to the shoulder, or a brush to his arm. Sometimes he would take one look at Tony and pull him into a hug.

Once, when Tony was feeling particularly miserable, Loki had laid down on the couch and held Tony close. He’d played with Tony’s hair and signed obscure words at him, forcing Tony to pay attention if he had any hopes of translating.

Tony was sure he would have gone mad, or drunk himself into a stupor without Loki to keep him together.

And the thing was, Tony didn’t know _why_ Loki did it. He was going far beyond the bounds of friendship. Tony had worried, at first, that it was residual guilt for not being able to heal Tony. When he’d asked, Loki had shaken his head.

 _I wish I could have done more, and I’m angry that I couldn’t_ , Loki signed, _but I know you do not blame me. I know there was nothing I could have done._

 _Good_ , Tony had insisted, _because I don’t blame you. This isn't your fault._

Loki had smiled at him, and after that, the conversation had been dropped.

But, it had been months, and Loki was still hovering at his side, still dropping everything to help him or keep Tony from getting lost in his own head.

Tony appreciated it, God, he truly, absolutely did. He felt like they’d grown closer as well, like a new intimacy had been forged between them. Tony just didn’t _understand_ it.

It was as they were sitting in the penthouse and Loki was telling him a story about his childhood on Asgard that things clicked. Tony was laughing and his eyes were pinched with amusement even as he was signing back - when a hand caught his. Tony stilled and opened his eyes. Loki was watching him with aching affection.

 _Oh_ , he thought, the realisastion sudden yet so simple, _that’s why._

And, instead of it being a panicked understanding or a daunting implication, Tony just let his smile turn tender as he curled his fingers around Loki’s.

Because, even though he’d always considered Loki a friend, it didn’t mean that Tony hadn’t been aware of the potential for a long time. He’d always ignored it, always assumed that Loki wouldn’t want to be with a middle-aged mortal.

When he became a middle-aged, _deaf_ mortal, he’d thought his chances had plummeted even further into obscurity – but, here Loki was, looking at him as if he was the mage’s entire world.

It was why he tugged on Loki’s hand, encouraging him closer. Loki’s joy shone from his eyes, and Tony watched him for as long as he could before shutting his eyes. When Loki’s lips caught his a second later, Tony sighed into the touch.

He brought his free hand to Loki’s hair, curling in the strands, while Loki’s hand came to his neck. Their fingers remained linked, and Tony’s whole world was narrowed down to the feel and scent of Loki.

Tony could have kissed him forever, but just because he was melting into the kiss and enjoying the feel of Loki’s lips, it didn’t mean he missed a single, reverent word: _Anthony._

It was wistful and delighted and it was _Loki’s voice inside his head._

Tony jerked back from the kiss. His eyes were wide and he let Loki’s hair go and signed rapidly in front of the other man’s startled face.

_I heard you speaking in my head!!_

Unlikely the happiness or delight he expected, Loki went pale and horror flashed across his face. He hurriedly signed: _I’m so sorry, Anthony!_

Tony frowned, completely confused, but Loki was continuing, his hand moving rapidly.

_I never meant to invade your privacy or break your trust. I didn’t mean to mind speak with you. It won’t happen again. I won’t-_

Tony grabbed Loki’s hand, stopping his panicked explanations. He shook his head rapidly. He let Loki’s hand go and explained: _Loki, don’t apologise. This is amazing! I’ve missed hearing your voice! I want to hear you! Do it again?_

Loki looked hesitant, but he reached out one hand and brushed his fingers to Tony’s temple. There was a moment where nothing happened before, _“Anthony? Is this alright?”_

“ _Loki_ ,” Tony thought back, his delight unable to be contained. _“It is more than alright.”_

Loki smiled and his fingers trailed down, brushing over Tony’s cheek. _“I was afraid you would not trust me enough for this.”_

“ _Why?_ ”

_“It’s intimate. Few people like a mage in their head, especially not me.”_

_“I’m not like other people,_ ” Tony said, leaning into the hand now cupping his cheek. “ _And I want you here.”_

Loki’s smile spread wider. “ _Then I’ll stay._ ”

Tony blinked, looking at Loki and realising he was speaking about more than just the mental connection, he was speaking about something far deeper.

But, just like everything else that involved Loki, the thought wasn’t daunting or nerve-wracking, it only made Tony feel happy and content; because if Loki was with him, Tony knew everything would be okay.

And, to further prove those words and his own commitment, Tony leant in and pressed his lips to Loki’s. 

He also whispered his happiness and gratitude into Loki’s mind with a single, honest statement: _“Thank you, for making everything better, Loki._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, yes, I know that in the comics Clint is deaf, but it didn't fit with my plot/feels to make him deaf. So his brother is deaf. Shhh.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked! :)


End file.
